101 Things To Do With An Elderly Relative or Friend

This started as a somewhat crazy idea at midnight. Thinking about the different ways that I've spent time with my own elderly parents, I wondered if it'd be possible to come up with a list of 101 ideas for ways that we can spend time with older people.

Visiting older people, either in their own homes or in care homes, isn't rocket science. Yet we can feel intimidated. We don't visit because feel as if we don't know what to do.

It's one of my regrets that I didn't go and see my elderly godmother until it was too late.  These regrets helped me prioritise creating many beautiful memories with my dad, who passed away last year.

This list is a work in progress - you'll notice that there's not 101 things on the list ... yet!

​Please can you HELP us build this post by sharing your ideas and experiences. How do you prefer to spend time with elderly relatives?

Help us create an amazing and useful list:

1. Reminiscing - remembering past events (thanks to Viv for this idea!)
2. Taking a 'wheelchair walk' outside (this is what Jen enjoyed with her dad)
3. A stroll in a sensory garden (thanks it4mature on Instagram)
4. Show them how to use technology such as Skype or FaceTime to connect with family members they haven't seen or spoken to in years (thanks to it4mature on Instagram)
5. Giving them a gentle hand massage, to share the joy of touch (thanks to Tina for this one)
6. Create music together - using simple instruments such as thumb pianos, recorders or shakers. It may not hit the UK charts, but it's a fun and memorable experience. For extra fun, record your efforts with a phone or tablet and play back, for hilarious effect! (thanks again to it4mature on Instagram!)
7. Try something new at a nearby coffee shop! Explore a drink you haven't tried before & chat about preferences! (thanks to LinkingLivesUK on Twitter)
8. Get some paints and paper and have a go at art with some painting (thanks to abbeyfieldsociety on Instagram)
9. Grab an adult colouring book and get colouring - it's relaxing and helps the mind (thanks to serenitycareassistedliving on Instagram)
10. Take your dog to play (as long as it's permitted where they live!) - who doesn't love to stroke a dog? (thanks to abbeyfieldsociety on Instagram)
11. Look through boxes of old photos or albums. It's a guarantee to start conversations. Find books that contain old photos of the cities they're from, use as a conversation starter or memory jogger (thanks to Tracy on Facebook)
12. Listening to music from their era useful too, it transports them back to a dance or party they may been to and relates to other events happening at the time. (thanks to Gill on Facebook)
13. A scrap book of clips/pictures from years ago together with more up to date pictures is quite fun too, maybe do a little quiz? (thanks to Gill)
14. A magazine of a hobby they love/loved such as gardening or cooking to look through together (thanks to Gill)
15. Baking - my mother remembered how to make shortcrust pastry even though she forget how to cook. Rubbing fat in to flour is such a tactile thing - it was good therapy and passed the time (thanks to Anne on Facebook)​
16. Invite them along to a street party to meet everyone in the local community. It's a great way to mix inter-generationally (Marmalade Trust on Instagram)
17. Find out what's happening at your local community farm of garden (Marmalade Trust on Instagram)
18. Check out the local U3A activities and take them along (Marmalade Trust on Instagram)
19. Painting on rocks - it's calming and creative. (thanks to Anglia Care)
20. Go for a weekly walk, if you haven't got a dog, perhaps you can borrow one! (thanks to Marmalade Trust)
21. Organise a street party or community get together (thanks to Marmalade_Trust on Instagram)
22. Doing jigsaw puzzles together - helping each other with the difficult pieces (thanks to Anglia Care on Instagram)
23. Enjoy a good old-fashioned cup of tea together (thanks to Anglia Care on Instagram)
24. Ask about their past hobbies. For example, they may have loved flower arranging, dance or Lego. Is there some way that you can help bring their past hobbies alive again - either by doing, reading or watching? ​
25. A sing-song together. Singing brings elderly people alive, even those with memory problems (thanks to Sharon Noble on Facebook)
26. Take them along to your knitting or crochet group (e.g. Knit & Natter), or go along to theirs with them (thanks to playingoutcic on Instagram)
27. Visit beautiful places together (thanks to ChristianActionBristol in Instagram)
28. Explore nature (thanks to Christian Action Bristol on Twitter)
29. Ask them if there is anywhere they would have liked to visit, or anything they would liked to have done - maybe you can help them tick something off a bucket list :) (thanks to Lucy Hazell for commenting below)
30. Invite them to a dinner party - if living alone, many elderly people wouldn't go through the effort of preparing a full home made meal just for themselves - this gives them an excuse to enjoy one :) (Thanks to Lucy Hazell)
31. Go for a picnic - it gets everyone outside and appreciating the simple things in life.  (Thanks to Lucy Hazell)
32. Swap hobbies - maybe they know how to do something that you don't and vice versa. So why not swap hobbies and teach each  other?  (Thanks to Lucy Hazell)
33. The Cinema - my granny loves the cinema, but is afraid of falling in the big dark rooms. So I go with her to watch a film of her choosing. For some people that haven't been to the cinema in a long long time, it will be quite an experience, given how technology has advanced. (thanks again Lucy Hazell!)
34. Take a drive in the countryside (thanks to Janet Kuntz)
35. Watch sports with them (thanks Janet!)
36. Have them over for dinner and ask for their help in either making it or setting the table, to make them feel included (thanks again Janet)
37. Visit an art gallery (thanks Janet!)
38. Use the computer together (thanks Ros)
39. Go out for coffee or ice cream (thanks to Ros!)
40. Enjoy a bit of simple shopping (thanks Ros)
41. Bring in young children and play games, say or sing nursery rhymes (thanks to upbeat52 on Instagram)
42. Talk about names and descriptions of friends (yours and theirs), together with favourite activities and foods (thanks to upbeat52 on Instagram)
43. Make simple cakes or biscuits (thanks Ros!)
44. Do manicures together (nice idea Ros!)
45. Dance together or take them to a dancing or music group (thanks for this idea Rebecca Seymour, Twitter)
46. Share or read poetry together (thanks to Tina)
47. Play board games, cards or dominoes (thanks to Tina)
48. Do crosswords, word searches or word puzzles together - helps keep both of your brains active (thanks Tina)
49. Show them how to use technology - to communicate with family and friends, for example by showing them how to send an email, or how to play simple games (such as jigsaw) on their phone or ipad (thanks to Jen)
50. Take an instrument that you play along and play some music (thanks to Tina and the Embracing Age team)
51. Playing music from the persons favourite era   50's 60's 70's (thanks Grace Wilding on YouTube)
52. Carpet bowls - works across the generations and even for those in wheels! (Thanks to Jane)
53. Play dominoes or a card game together (even if the rules might need to be a little flexible)
54. Listen to a CD with familiar music on it - this could be classical music, hymns or just popular songs
55. Take in a colouring book and some pens, pencils or markers
56. Read from the Bible, or say familiar prayers
57. Share nursery rhymes that they may remember
58. Watch TV programs or DVD's of gardens, outdoor activities or something beautiful or relaxing (thanks to Dr Jennifer Bute of Glorious Opportunity for this and the last five suggestions)
59. Read from the Bible, or other faith-based book
60. Ask about past interests and hobbies - who knows what you'll learn?
61. Have your own 2-person book club - choose books to read and then have fun discussing them
62. Share your hobbies with them - do you collect postcards, stamps or art? Involve them in your hobbies - it's never too late for any of us to show an interest or learn.
63. Glass Jar Decoupage with tissue paper (thanks Matt!)
64. Creating stained glass with sharpies (from Matt Harris)

Thanks for helping us to reach 64 ideas before Christmas!

Please COMMENT below with your ideas, links to posts or suggestions, which we can then add to the list.

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